OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this will be a night to untag.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
