Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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