shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize