Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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