If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
