I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
