I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
