And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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