i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
