you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize