The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
