you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
