This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
