Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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