Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize