One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
