Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
