Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
