I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
