I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
