fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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