My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize