she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize