He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
