even my farts smell like vagina
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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