Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
