I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
