She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
