suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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