Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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