i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
