whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
