In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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