She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
