you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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