omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
