I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
