he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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