If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
