Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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