No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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