The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Who died my cat blue again?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
