This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
