she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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