walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
then he tried to convert me to islam
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Drake has all the answers
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
