did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
