fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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