I want you more than these girls want KFC
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize