Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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