I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
