I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
