bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
