Sacagawea was the original milf.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
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