I puked a lego.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
