This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize