Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
