and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
