That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
