Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
