Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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