you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well I just put wine in my tea
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
