Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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