I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
