This dress was meant to end up on your floor
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
