I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
