No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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