I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
