dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
