question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
