Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize