i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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