erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
